ThE rEaL rOn WeAsLeY~*
by Daughter of Fire
Summary: An Eminem filk.Okay, I know this has been done before...But this is a little different. This is how Ron really feels...


Hi Peeps!! Waz^? Okay, I know this has been done before...but this one has a different take. It's from Ron's point of view, totally OOC, but hey, that's what makes it fun! ^.^ Anyways...this is how Ron really feels about his poverty, living in the shadow of his older brothers and the famous Harry Potter, and his take on the wizarding world...always a spiffy subject...laughs evily...  
  
*~ThE rEaL rOn WeAsLeY~*  
  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
Will the real Ron Weasley please stand up?   
We're gonna have a problem here  
  
Y'all act like ya never seen a redhead before  
Jaws all on the floor like Tom Riddle just burst in the door  
And started whoopin your ass worse than before  
He first was defeated  
Throwin' out dark marks (Ahhhhh!)  
It's the return of the...  
"Ah, wait, now way, you're kidding  
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"  
And Harry Potter said...  
Nothing, you idiots! Potter's dead, he's locked in my basement!  
Smart-ass Granger loves Ron Weasley  
{ticka, ticka, ticka} "Ron Weasley, I'm sick of him!  
Look at him, walking around acting like the kid with the scar  
Trying to beat you-know-who, yeah,  
But he's so cute, though"  
Yeah, I probably got a few strands up in my wand loose  
But nothin' worse than what Potter does in his bedroom {HaHa!}  
Sometimes, I want to get your attention and just let loose, but can't  
But it's cool for Potter to play Quidditch whatever year he choose  
"He's the boy who lived, he's the boy who lived"  
And if you're lucky, he might just give you a little tip  
And that's the message we deliver to little wizards and witches  
And expect them not to know who Voldemort is  
Of course they're gonna know what You-Know-Who did   
To Harry's parents that day  
They got them 'Modern Magical History' books, don't they?  
"We wizards ain't nothing but people"  
Well, some of us is Death Eaters  
Who destroy people, just like Rita Skeeter  
But if Potter can be rich and famous at age one  
Then there's no reason I can't get no Galleons  
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote  
Witches wave your Hogwarts robes, sing the chorus, and it goes  
  
Chorus:  
I'm Ron Weasley, yes I'm the real Weasley  
All my brother Weasleys just got off too easy  
So won't the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up  
Cuz I'm Ron Weasley, yes I'm the real Weasley  
All my brother Weasleys just got off too easy  
So won't the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up  
  
Malfoy don't gotta study to get good potion grades  
Well, I do so "Fuck him, and fuck you too!"  
You think I give a damn about a house cup  
Half you staff don't even know who I am, thanks to Potter's luck  
"But Ron, what if you get points, wouldn't *that* be scary?"  
Why? So Dumbledore can just lie, control me like a damn fairy  
So he can try to pretend I'm as famous as Harry?  
Shit, Lavender better switch me chairs  
So I can sit next to Neville And Seamus Finnigan  
And here them argue over who she'd go with to the Yule Ball again?  
You little bitch turned me down cuz I'm poor  
"No, it's just cause I like Seamus more!" (Whateva!)  
I should give her a dose of Snape's Veritaserum  
And show the whole school how she thinks I'm scum  
I'm sick of you little rich warlocks, all you do is annoy me  
So I have been sent here to destroy you.  
And there's a million of us just like me  
Who's poor like me; Who just don't have a scar like me  
Who wear dress robes like me; cast out like me  
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!  
  
Chorus  
  
I'm like a cruciatus curse to listen to  
But I'm only giving you  
Spells you cast with your friends inside your living  
The only difference is I got five brothers ahead of me  
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all  
I just jump up on the staff table and spit it and whether you like to admit it  
I'm an unknown wizard to 90 percent of all you out there  
Then you wonder how I got a brain if I don't got fame  
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm in sixth year  
I'll still be off the Quidditch team and poor  
Living in a burrow, jacking off on a stone floor  
Said the floor, made of stone while my bros are in a rich home  
And almost every single member of wizardry is a Harry Potter wannabe  
Unlike me, but Colin Creevey's taking pictures real easy  
Or those at home, sitting on his bed drawing scars on his head  
With his windows down and his wand hand up  
So will the real RON WEASLEY please stand up?  
And put one of the broken wands in each hand up?  
And be proud to be Harry Potter's enemy?  
And more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
Chorus  
Chorus  
  
Ha, ha  
Guess there's a Ron Weasley in every family  
Fuck it, let's all stand up  
  
  
Okay, there it was, my first attempt at a filk. Pathetic, yes, but hey, who's to say ?? Riiight... Anyways, I gotta jet. Later! 


End file.
